Catholic Examination of Conscience for Married Couples
The sacrament of Matrimony is a vocation — a calling from God in which spouses become the means of each other's sanctification and the principal educators of their children. This examination focuses on the duties and graces particular to married life, drawing on Vatican II's Gaudium et Spes, St. John Paul II's Familiaris Consortio, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church on marriage (CCC 1601-1666, 2331-2400).
1. Faithful love
Marriage vows include faithfulness in body, mind, and heart.
- Have I been unfaithful to my spouse — physically, emotionally, or in the secret thoughts and fantasies of my heart?
- Have I formed an emotional or romantic attachment outside the marriage?
- Have I viewed pornography or maintained a secret life online?
- Have I been chaste in heart and eye toward others?
- Have I treated my spouse as the most important person in my life, after God?
2. Communication and the daily life of love
Spouses are called to love one another as Christ loved the Church (Ephesians 5:21-33).
- Have I spoken to my spouse with respect, patience, and gentleness?
- Have I listened to my spouse when they needed to be heard?
- Have I let resentments, sarcasm, or contempt enter my words?
- Have I withheld affection, conversation, or sexual intimacy out of anger?
- Have I refused to apologise when I was wrong, or to forgive when forgiveness was asked?
- Have I taken my spouse for granted?
- Have I prayed for my spouse — and with my spouse?
3. Openness to life
The Church teaches (Humanae Vitae; CCC 2366-2372) that every conjugal act must remain open to the transmission of life. Contraception is gravely contrary to this teaching; Natural Family Planning, used for serious reasons, is morally licit.
- Have I used artificial contraception, or been sterilised for contraceptive purposes?
- Have I procured or assisted in an abortion?
- Have I refused to consider another child for selfish reasons rather than serious ones?
- Have I, when there were serious reasons to space births, used Natural Family Planning in a way that remained open to God's will?
- Have I welcomed each child God has entrusted to us?
- Have I, if we have struggled with infertility, sought morally licit treatments and trusted in God's plan?
4. Parenting and the domestic church
Parents are the first and primary educators of their children in faith (CCC 2225).
- Have I taught my children to pray and brought them faithfully to Sunday Mass?
- Have I given my children good religious instruction at home?
- Have I been a good example to them in patience, honesty, kindness, and faith?
- Have I been a bad example to them in anger, vulgarity, gossip, or contempt of others?
- Have I spent meaningful time with my children, not just provided for them materially?
- Have I disciplined my children with patience and firmness, neither harshly nor permissively?
- Have I respected my children's growing freedom and their own vocations?
- Have I, if my children have strayed from the faith, continued to love them and pray for them rather than abandon them?
5. Household, finances, and work
The home is the domestic church, and care for it is a shared vocation.
- Have I shared the burdens of housework, parenting, and family management fairly?
- Have I been honest with my spouse about money?
- Have I been greedy, materialistic, or in debt through irresponsible spending?
- Have I overworked to the neglect of my family?
- Have I shared in the works of mercy as a family?
- Have I helped my spouse and children to grow in their relationship with God?
Ready to confess?
After your examination, pray an Act of Contrition, then make your confession. Our guide to how to go to confession walks through the rite step by step. Need to find a parish? Find confession times near you.
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